


Disturb the Peace

by ralsbecket



Series: Spooky Stuckony Bingo [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (sort of), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Magical Accidents, Multi, Sam Wilson is So Done, Song: The Other Side (Jason Derulo), Stephen Strange is a Good Bro, The Astral Plane, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27052576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralsbecket/pseuds/ralsbecket
Summary: Spooky Stuckony Bingo - I3: Zombies-“Um –” Tony scampered away from the slow-moving bodies of his boyfriends –zomboyfriends?– and rushed out, “The – the astral projection thing isn’t supposed to… They’re only supposed to be unconscious. Right?”
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Spooky Stuckony Bingo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974859
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40
Collections: Stuckony server spooky bingo





	Disturb the Peace

**Author's Note:**

> “Tonight we’ll just get drunk  
> Disturb the peace  
> Let your love crash into me  
> And then you bite your lip  
> Whisper and say, ‘We’re going all the way.’”  
> \- Jason Derulo, _The Other Side_
> 
> A/N: Written for the Stuckony Server's Spooky Bingo!! Major thanks for everyone who cheered that first snippet because I lowkey almost scrapped this, oop  
> And yes, this is super crackfic-y, it kind of got away from me LOL

Everyone knew not to bother him when he was down in the laboratory, and for good measure, Tony integrated some of Stephen’s magical bells and whistles to the entrance to ward off any unsolicited wanderers. He usually remembered to take them off, but – eh – a sleep-deprived brain didn’t do so well with remembering.

Steve and Bucky learned that the hard way.

Tony gaped wordlessly at the sight before him: the bodies of two super-soldiers were sprawled limply at the entrance of the lab with two very angry, semi-corporeal spirits hovering over them. Steve and Bucky were teetering on the edge of the physical plane, semi-translucent with what Tony could only describe as _tails_ for legs, literally and figuratively ghosting a foot off the ground.

The engineer was, for lack of better term, speechless. He was _never_ speechless – in fact, his mouth never stopped moving – but then again he’d never accidentally incapacitated his boyfriends and witnessed real life ghosts before, so there was always a first for everything.

“What – the – _fuck_!” Bucky exclaimed high in his throat, voice echoing somewhat. His eyes were wide as he stared at his own motionless form, which was face-down across the linoleum.

Steve, always the voice of calm and reassurance even in less-than-ideal situations, raised his translucent hands up to placate his boyfriend. His voice reverberated too as he said, “Buck, hold on, I’m sure there’s –”

“Why the _fuck_ am I staring at my own body, Tony!?” Bucky barked at the engineer, twisting to gawk at the look on his face.

“I-I can, uh, fix this,” Tony stuttered, his mouth finally catching up with his brain. Unfortunately, his body hadn’t exactly gotten the memo. He ran a hand through his curly hair, worry etched on his features. “I’ll just – yeah, yup – Stephen can fix this. You’ll be fine – I think.”

Steve’s facial expression turned from one of concern into one of irritation. His voice wavered as he shot back, “You… you ‘think’? Tony. Sweetheart. In case you didn’t realize, we’re a little…” He gestured down to their bodies, raising a brow. “You know, _dead_.”

“No, no –” And Tony was moving now, his feet carrying him towards the counter on the far well where he swiped up his cellphone. “Not dead, per say. Astral projecting. Or… something,” he said, glancing back and forth between the two spirits and their separated, unmoving bodies. (Tony stood there for a moment, almost waiting for them to _breathe_ – to show some sign of life – and when nothing happened, he cursed to himself.)

“Tony,” Steve began slowly, as if fearing the coming answer, “please tell me you didn’t go messing with Strange’s things again.” He popped up into his other boyfriend’s periphery, gliding forward with a contemplative look on his face. Tony eyes darted all around the lab but conveniently avoided finding Steve and Bucky’s faces.

His continued silence was all the answer they needed.

Some arguing ensued (mostly Bucky in hysterics while Steve tried to get his mind wrapped around their predicament): “Babe, you always pull shit like this!”

“ _Not_ true – I’ve never successfully executed something like this on purpose.”

“I’m Casper the Friendly Fuckin’ Ghost, Tony, it looks pretty _damn_ successful to me.”

There were also some disappointed sighs coming from the other line when Tony finally got around to calling Stephen: “ _I can’t even fathom how you’ve managed that_ , _Stark,_ ” the sorcerer lamented when he got caught up. “ _Unfortunately, I do have my hands tied at the moment, so Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes would just have to wa_ –”

A shrill shriek pierced the air, and Tony jerked at the sound, nearly fumbling his phone. He witnessed Bucky’s spirit phase right through Steve’s as he tried to move across the laboratory and away from the entrance in haste.

“What the –?”

“Tony!” Steve shouted then, voice tightening with distress. He floated backwards slowly, eyes not leaving the _moving bodies that were slowly shifting on the ground_. “Tony, fucking tell me that _that_ is supposed to happen!”

“ _What’s going on?_ ” Strange inquired, voice lilting with curiosity.

His blood ran cold when Steve’s body continued to push itself onto all fours, listlessly clambering to gain its footing. Bucky’s form sluggishly staggered to its feet, a punched-out groan coming from its throat. Despite only minutes, their skin had already started to grey, having lost the lively pink flush. Their arms hung limply at their sides, their faces having gone slack, their eyes foggy and unseeing.

“Oh, fucking hell,” Tony gasped out, his heart immediately pumping blood through his ears. Jesus H. Christ, they were in for it now. “They went full Romero.”

“ _Stark!_ ”

“Um –” Tony scampered away from the slow-moving bodies of his boyfriends – _zomboyfriends?_ – and rushed out, “The – the astral projection thing isn’t supposed to… They’re only supposed to be unconscious. Right?”

Stephen remained silent for a few moments. “ _Yes_ …”

Steve and Bucky’s spirits hovered beside Tony, all three of them observing warily as the zombified versions of their bodies lurched around the open flooring. Zombie Steve circled around a couple of times, staggering this way and that, while Zombie Bucky appeared to sniff the air and zero-in on something in front of it.

They seemed curious more than anything, but it still made him uncomfortable.

Tony prodded through the phone, “So, hypothetically, they shouldn’t be reanimated and walking around like zombies, _right_?”

“ _I’m assuming you hadn’t effectively tapped into the other dimension’s meta-physics before you_ –”

“Of course I didn’t _fucking_ tap into any dimensional meta-physics, _Stephen_! I’m not a wizard!” Tony spat, shuddering slightly when Bucky’s body rounded the workbench and swiped in his direction. He skidded away with the other two drifting close behind.

“ _I told you – Wong! Watch him for me! – serves you right for trying to add mystical security without consulting me._ ” There was a fluttering of cloths, and Tony didn’t have time to even question what the sorcerer could have been up to before he said, “ _Now,_ _I need to consult the texts myself_.”

“But what are we going to –”

“ _I’ll get there when I get there_.”

Stephen hung up the phone, and in the next moment, Zombie Bucky got itself caught on the corner of Tony’s workbench, staggering back a bit. It took two steps in an attempt to regain balance before tripping over its own feet and landing on the ground with a hard _thud_.

“You’re even more graceful dead than not,” Steve teased, grinning cheekily.

“Shove off,” Bucky retorted, moving to punch his boyfriend in the shoulder – and then startling a bit when his fist went right through him.

Tony opened his mouth to get his boys focused again when Zombie Steve sluggishly ambled to the still-open laboratory door. “Oh, no no – hey, Steve! Hey! C’mere, boy. Get away from there!” He started forward, clapping his hands together in an attempt to get the less-than-intelligent creature’s attention.

Steve’s spirit crossed his arms over his chest, giving a solid harrumph, “I’m not a _dog_ , Tony.” But his remark was lost to the air as Bucky began to snort out a laugh.

Both zomboyfriends trained their attention on Tony’s loudmouth, staring for one long moment before shifting to follow him. The engineer weaved between the two figures as they closed-in, stifling an unintelligible squeak before he ducked under their reaching arms.

“What’re you so _scared_ for?” Bucky questioned, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. He snickered when Tony threw him a dirty look.

Steve rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth fighting to stay downturned. “C’mon, Tones, zombie or not, I don’t think they’d – _we’d_ – bite you.”

“ _Much_ ,” Bucky added. He began floating around Tony, circling around him once with a shit-eating smirk on his face.

“You’re both lucky I love you,” Tony grumbled out, leaning against a stool and tracking the stumbling zombie form of his brunet boyfriend from the corner of his eye.

Zombie.

Singular.

Tony cleared his throat, hesitating with, “Hey, J?”

“Here, sir,” the AI responded.

“Do you have eyes on Captain Zomb-erica?”

A couple of seconds passed before: “Sir, it seems as though Captain Rogers has found the common room, and is currently –”

Tony jumped to his feet and rushed out of the open doorway at a hard sprint when he heard Sam’s muffled screams through the relayed intercoms. Steve and Bucky remained at his side, gliding seamlessly in the space with amusement painting their features.

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my linktree for tumblr, discord, and other socials!](https://linktr.ee/ralsbecket)


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